When does it become embarrassing to still be living at your parents’ house?
We’re all familiar with the “loser living in their parents’ basement” stereotype. However, this trope is a relatively recent trend. Multigenerational households used to be the norm.
Multigenerational Living
In the 19th century, multigenerational living was normal and expected. The U.S. had a very agrarian economy, and children helped take care of aging parents and the farm and the cycle continued. People needed their family to survive.
It’s only within the last 100 years, after World War II, that living at home was seen as failure to adult. In the ‘80s and ’90 multigenerational living was at its lowest in history, with only 12% of extended families living together.
It has risen steadily since, with 1 in 5 families living in a multigenerational home in 2016. The disproportionate ratio of income to cost of living is a major contributing factor in this change
Education and Moving Back Home
In the education realm, the common U.S. narrative is “Go to college, you’ll be guaranteed a great job right after graduation and you’ll be financially stable right away.”
A lot of college grads learned the hard way this is a hollow promise; many people who went to college start adult life with around $39,075 of student loan debt that they most likely will take 20 years or more to dig their way out of.
Add on a depressed job market and the fact that you need half a million dollars to buy a decent home in many parts of the country, and roughly 50% of millennials said they planned on moving back in with their parents after college in 2022.
And unfortunately, we all know that the cost of living has not gone down. So, moving back home has become even more of a necessity for young people now.
Deciding to Move Back Home
A lot of us know someone who fits the “still living in your parents’ basement” trope. People, particularly young men, who live at home into adulthood are seen as lazy and irresponsible losers.
While that might be true in some cases, it definitely isn’t in others. For many young people, moving back home after college is actually a responsible next step. It allows them to save on rent so they can pay off debt, get a stable job, and save up money for that half a million-dollar home.
Multigenerational households used to be the norm, and considering how difficult and expensive it is to be alive now, it’s understandable that it has become such a necessity again.
Job Hunting
Along with the cost of living, today’s job market poses new obstacles for young people trying to gain a solid footing, making it even more difficult for them to avoid moving back home after graduation.
Companies are using AI algorithms to sort resumes to match them with strong applicants. If your resume doesn’t match the algorithm, you’ll get turned down before your resume even makes it to human eyes. It’s calculated that 75% of applicants’ resumes get turned down by automated systems without being seen by a human, and 88% of companies are prescreening applications with these systems.
This is a very frustrating trend for young people who are new to a field. Getting turned down for a job by a robot feels like a new low for humanity.
However, there are ways around the algorithm.
Read the job posting thoroughly, and word your resume to match what they are looking for. Use the major keywords they highlight in the job description, and if they’re using an algorithm, you should make it past.
The average time it takes for a job hunter to land an offer varies greatly depending on the health of the desired field and the geographic location. However, the average time for someone who is unemployed to land a job in 2025 was 24.5 weeks. That’s over five months, and that’s just the average. In some cases, it’s closer to a year.
If you’re fresh out of college and new to a field where employers want you to come in with experience, that’s a disheartening statistic, and makes it difficult to avoid moving back home while job-hunting.
Family Dynamics of Moving Back Home After College
For a lot of people, moving back home after college feels like a step backwards. You had freedom, and now you’re back under your parents’ rules.
However, moving back home can be a useful transitional phase while you find stability on your own. It can relieve some of the stress of trying to make expensive rent while you look for a job for potentially six months or more.
Multigenerational homes were only stigmatized in recent history. No one is a loser for needing the support network of a family.
As a matter of fact, having the support of a family helps with mental health. When someone is experiencing a stressful situation (like being turned down for a job by a robot) knowing you have the support of a family to fall back on can help reduce anxiety.
That being said, dynamics between parents and adult children can become strained when living together, especially if your values have changed since you went to college.
Psychotherapist Matt Lundquist states that it is possible for parents and adult children to live together peacefully. The dynamic will be different since you are now an adult. However, with constructive discussion, a new relationship can be developed that focuses on mutual respect and boundaries while you as a young adult learn to navigate a new phase in life.
If you’re moving back home, try to avoid putting more stress on your parents. There are a few things you can do:
- Help out with housework when you can.
- If you’re able, pitch in for food.
- Don’t make mom and dad clean up after you.
- Be respectful of other family members living in the house.
- Have constructive conversations about adult boundaries.
- If you’re having friends or a SO over, give other people in the house a head’s up.
So, if you end up stuck in the basement after college, remember you didn’t fail to adult. View it as a transitional phase to finding stability in a rapidly evolving world.
