In the post-COVID era, social media has become a uniquely influential force on popular lexicon. Instead of a loser, you’re a chud. Instead of looking cool, you’re aurafarming. Instead of being a feminist, you’re a girl’s girl. But there are considerations to have with memeful rebranding.
What is a Girl’s Girl?
So many different women of all ages use the term “girl’s girl,” but what does it actually mean? Typically, when people refer to a girl’s girl, they’re describing someone who supports other women indiscriminately and unconditionally — for better or for worse. It’s a term seen everywhere online, with plenty of videos on social media and thinkpieces on Google defining it as a hallmark of girlhood. You can’t be a girl without being a girl’s girl. If you’re not one, there is something fundamentally wrong with you, perhaps even being a pick-me — the male-centered opposite of being a girl’s girl as shown in its origin, Grey’s Anatomy.
A girl can do no wrong to a girl’s girl, it’s just not possible. However, this ideology tends to backfire when it’s applied to real-life events with real-life consequences.
Can Girls Ever Take Accountability With Girl’s Girls Running Around?
The answer is no. Specifically, the answer is no when the support morphs into enabling. The culture surrounding being a girl’s girl has evolved past the original and admirable movement behind it. It was a method of supporting one another in a society hellbent on tearing women at every step. But now, it’s gotten ridiculous.
For example, Elizabeth Holmes — the founder of blood-testing biotech company Theranos — was found guilty on four charges of fraud and, yet, she’s still heralded as girlboss to groups of women. She lied creating her start-up, stole millions of dollars from investors, and was the subject of many documentaries. What makes her such a girlboss?
Similarly, fraudster Anna Delvey was rebranded as a girlboss following her exposure and conviction through the Netflix documentary Inventing Anna. Her looks were noted as being soft and pouty, her intelligence was fondly reminisced despite her numerous cons that she constructed, and people never got their money or their dignity back. Why can she become this idol among women?
Before continuing with this theory, let’s lastly examine Jatavia Johnson — also known as JT formerly of the rap duo City Girls. Johnson turned herself in nearing the height of City Girls’ popularity. She was charged with credit card fraud and identity theft before serving a two-year sentence in 2018. The only people who spoke out against Johnson’s incarceration were other Black people, no one else and especially no non-Black women.
Back to the theory surrounding being a “girl’s girl,” how much of the culture surrounding this way of life has been co-opted into white feminism — or, at least, a mechanism for white women to escape accountability while others fall to the way-side? At its core, being a girl’s girl is great! It symbolizes a female solidarity that is sorely needed as the world plunges into a terrifying wave of fascism as women’s rights are gradually stripped away. However, it’s become this concerning excuse to support or wave away the real ramifications of some women — notably white women — while overlooking others.
Most recently, a woman on the New York City subway yelled racial slurs at two Black women. The internet’s response? To brand her the “Subway Queen” and post videos online idolizing her and the incident. Again, this pesky girl’s girl community has rallied behind another white woman — who is undeniably in the wrong — at the expense of two Black women being victimized. This is not to say that being a girl’s girl is an inherently bad thing, but there is a trend with women being supported and who isn’t. This term has snowballed away from its intended purpose and has become a way for white women to escape accountability while victimizing others.
Girl’s Girl-ism and Witch Hunts — Unlikely Twins
Another side-effect from this toxic and twisted form of being a girl’s girl is the issues that come from not being labelled one. For instance, Megan Hazlett on Medium describes an encounter she had where a woman had called another woman “not a girl’s girl.” It quickly became apparent that the woman in question was experiencing a series of life challenges and happened to be relying on a support system that involved the first woman’s boyfriend. For this, she was branded as someone who didn’t support other women.
It’s become a way to demean other women instead of lifting each other up. No matter how positive it was in the past, as it is, there is an insidious understanding of being a girl’s girl. The current interpretation of being a girl’s girl has led to many instances of harm — racialized or otherwise. By devolving into this, being a girl’s girl or not aids female infighting and further division in women — it also begs the question: why can’t we just say we’re a feminist?
Is feminism such a buzzword now that we can’t just call supporting other women what it is? Why must we stoop to easily co-opted internet slang to describe supporting your fellow women?
Ultimately, women must come together and support each other, but still hold each other accountable. It’s not girlboss to defraud scores of people. It’s not queen behavior to shout racial slurs. We should not be applauding white women victimizing others. We should not be applauding the attacking of other women for having male friends.
Being a girl’s girl is out. Being a feminist is in.